Learn how to increase confidence so you'll be able to achieve a goal you've set, reduce stress, and enhance your state of happiness.

"Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do."
Benjamin Spock, creator of 'Baby and Child Care', 1977

If you want to improve confidence you should know that it has as much to do with attitude aside from ability.

I've known many individuals who, while they lacked ability in a certain field, absolutely 'oozed' confidence! I'm not talking about bragging about how great they are at tennis, or singing, or public speaking - when really they're not. I'm talking about feeling okay about not being good in those areas and doing them anyway!

A number of things are just not essential enough to fret about - but we do just the same and create unnecessary anxiety for ourselves. Whether you fall over trying to ice-skate, make a hash of cooking, not succeed at DIY or just fear that you may not be good at using a PC if you tried it, so you don't - does it really matter?

Of course there are some things that are important! Being good at your career is one of them; creating good relationships is another. In these situations you have to find a number of strategies to help you.

What building selfconfidence boils down to is getting rid of that voice inside your mind that tells you that you'll be unsuccessful if you try, that you're no good at this kind of thing, that you'll make a fool of yourself - or whatever the particular message is that rocks your confidence.

Those messages don't necessarily tell the truth:

They may have been told to you, before, by other people who had their own agenda. Generally people would say things to put you down so they feel better about themselves!

They may have been your understanding of what someone said. Often what we hear is just not what is meant, so if I say "You're not very good at sports activities", you may hear that as a criticism or someone saying "You're a failure!"

They may be based mostly on a specific experience you had which prompted you to write that message inside your head yourself. Let's say you tried creating a bookcase once but it didn't look very good when you finished it. Therefore, in your thoughts you believe you're no good at carpentry and will never try again. Although you could have acknowledged that this wasn't too bad for your first attempt and that you'd most likely improve with experience.

Your attitude is the thing that may carry you to success, or defeat you before you even begin.

In case you don't believe you can do it - chances are really high that you won't. And if you believe all the damaging messages from the past, you may as well build a brick wall between you and your desired goals. (And don't forget, you fail 100% of the opportunities you don't even go for!)

But if you believe you can do it, if you can visualise yourself in your mind doing it, chances are incredibly strong that you will succeed!

There's a saying: "Change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change." (The half full - half empty glass is an example of this!)

But you don't have to do this on your own, and confidence coaching may help you to find alternative ways of seeing things. Then the coach may help you to determine your negative beliefs and knock down those brick walls that stand between you and your objectives. Developing your confidence will undoubtedly help you to attain what you want from life.

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